I had ruined my life with drugs and alcohol in only one year’s time.  I was completely blind and ignorant to the things of God.  My husband and I tried the drug ecstasy on our first wedding anniversary.  What we considered harmless fun turned into something horrible.  Within one year I had a miscarriage and we lost our home. Since my drug-dealing husband was being pursued by the police, my two children & I moved from hotel to hotel.  The end of his activities concluded during a traffic stop, and our children unfortunately watched as their daddy was taken away in handcuffs.  Because of my foolish actions, my children & I were forced to seek shelter from family and friends. Sometimes we slept in our car.  I eventually lost the respect of my family.  My soul was lifeless and completely lost.  I wanted to end my life.  It wasn’t until my mother-in-law sat me down and told me that she would have my kids taken from me if I did not get help.  I decided to do something for my family and to get help.  My kids were the only reason I had not already committed suicide.  It wasn’t until I cried out to God one day that things began to happen.  I drove from Pensacola to Mobile to the Salvation Army.

The first night at the church service seemed as if everything the Pastor spoke out of his mouth was directed at me.  I felt like I had a spotlight shining directly on me through the reflection of the cross that hung on the wall above my head.  At the end of the service the Pastor and Ministers asked if anyone needed prayer.  I knew I did, but I was terrified.  I gripped tightly to the sides of my chair, and tears began to roll down my cheek and for the first time I felt the presence of God.  I felt as if I floated to the alter as the minister walked up to me and whispered in my ear, “You’ve been hurt”.  That same night I was blessed with salvation    and the infilling of the Holy Spirit.  I had closed my eyes to the old life I had once lived, full of bitterness and hatred for myself and others. I began to build a relationship of trust with Jesus.

I will never forget the 21 Bible verses that we are required to learn.  It’s funny because I use those same powerful verses to get me through daily trials today.  I was taught how to live, through the power of scripture.  I was also able to confront my past hurts of being sexually abused as a child and young adult through hours of counseling.

Someone asked me what was my secret to staying on the right path while refining my life and relationship with God.  I told the individual that it wasn’t a secret.  God has blessed me and many like me just as He wants to bless everyone.  Blessed and not cursed!  The head and not the tail!  This walk with God is not a sprint to the finish, but rather a marathon.  It is not finished until God says so, meaning that no one knows that day or hour.  I will continue to keep pressing forward, continuing to sink my spiritual roots deeper into God’s Word.  I will listen for His voice of wisdom in my life, while never forgetting where God has brought me from before.  I remain grateful and humble for the new life that God has granted me, my husband and our children. Our family is together again, praise God.

If I could give inspiration and wisdom to the men and women starting this walk, it would be to stay true to yourself and be quick to repent when wrong.  Live and breathe the words of the Bible for they hold the key to life everlasting!  Practice the fruits of the spirit and never be satisfied with any level that you have reached, because there is always a higher level. NEVER GIVE UP!! Nicole Purdie-Holder